{"id":823,"date":"2014-10-01T19:45:11","date_gmt":"2014-10-01T19:45:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=823"},"modified":"2015-05-22T02:14:05","modified_gmt":"2015-05-22T02:14:05","slug":"the-saving-of-mankind-some-vulgar-verse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/the-saving-of-mankind-some-vulgar-verse\/","title":{"rendered":"The Saving of Mankind &#8211; Some Vulgar Verse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Saving of Mankind   Truth told of how man and Dinosaurs DID share the earth together, and the Di\" width=\"660\" height=\"371\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/wtuR5_rQmz0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>In days of old when men were bold<br \/>\nAnd chased dinosaurs with sticks<br \/>\nThe girls fair and not so fair<br \/>\nWent for the dudes with the longest dicks!<\/p>\n<p>And all the mediums got little<br \/>\nAnd if your manhood was small<br \/>\nAlas for you there was no fun<br \/>\nYou got no women at all!<\/p>\n<p>Now in time the dinosaurs got bigger<br \/>\nAnd for mankind they grew a taste<br \/>\nAnd it wasn&#8217;t long till they had eaten many<br \/>\nAnd all ran from them in haste<\/p>\n<p>Now the lads with the long shlongs<br \/>\nThew the women over their shoulder<br \/>\nAnd from the dinosaurs raced<br \/>\nAnd outran all men who were older<\/p>\n<p>And the aged all got eaten<br \/>\nAnd the younger ones survived<br \/>\nAs did the men who were smaller<br \/>\nAnd all mankind thrived.<\/p>\n<p>Now in time the dinosaurs got even BIGGER<br \/>\nAnd chased after mankind into the bushed high<br \/>\nOnly for them to drop the women<br \/>\nThe pain of the thorns being the reasons why<\/p>\n<p>For their manhood was so long<br \/>\nIn the bushes it kept getting caught<br \/>\nAnd they were writhing in agony<br \/>\nSo not giving the women the loving they sought.<\/p>\n<p>Now our smaller brothers<br \/>\nCaught the women as they did fall<br \/>\nFrom the arms of the longer todgered males<br \/>\nWho heretofore had it all.<\/p>\n<p>And so they saved womankind<br \/>\nAnd all the long todgered men got eaten<br \/>\nAnd that is how the Alpha male<br \/>\nBy the Little Richards was beaten.<\/p>\n<p>And&#8230; did they get loving<br \/>\nThey were at it all night long<br \/>\nAnd half the day too as well<br \/>\nAll not NOT having a large shlong!<\/p>\n<p>Now the dinosaurs could not catch them<br \/>\nAnd they dies out of starvation<br \/>\nAfter eating all the vegetarian dinosaurs<br \/>\nThere was such carnage and aggravation.<\/p>\n<p>And so the dinosaurs became extinct<br \/>\nAnd the short todgered had such fun<br \/>\nBut it was not to last<br \/>\nThe battle that they had won.<\/p>\n<p>The dinosaurs were gone now<br \/>\nAnd the victory they had hard earned<br \/>\nWas lost, the danger defeated<br \/>\nThe women went back to what they yearned<\/p>\n<p>The longer, the bigger, the better<br \/>\nAnd once more outside did find<br \/>\nThe short shlonged male that once did prevail<br \/>\nThat saved all of mankind!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In days of old when men were bold And chased dinosaurs with sticks The girls fair and not so fair Went for the dudes with the longest dicks! And all the mediums got little And if your manhood was small Alas for you there was no fun You got no &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[376],"tags":[1480,1930,1927,1928,1033,1036,1034,93,1931,1932,1933,1920,1035,1925,1921,1922,1929,1919,1923,1926,1924],"class_list":["post-823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems-18","tag-comedy","tag-comedy-verse","tag-comic","tag-comic-poetry","tag-creationism","tag-dinosaurs","tag-evolution","tag-funny-poem","tag-jester","tag-joke","tag-joke-for-today","tag-little-richard","tag-mankind","tag-men","tag-penis-envy","tag-penis-joke","tag-skit","tag-slong","tag-todger","tag-war-of-the-sexes","tag-women","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-dh","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":541,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/i-blame-it-all-on-tesco\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":0},"title":"I Blame It All On TESCO","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"10th November 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"(or how men lost their status in relationships)When dinosaurs walked tall on earth, And Tesco was yet to be\u2026 Women who wanted meat and shit Relied on chaps like me\u2026 We gathered up our clubs and spears, And risked our very lives, To bring back meat and furry skins So\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2670,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/what-did-the-neighbours-in-nazareth-say\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":1},"title":"What Did the Neighbours in Nazareth Say?","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"17th April 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"When the body in the tomb was laid News of the crucifixion to Nazareth reached What did the neighbours in Nazareth say Who knew Christ before the Gospel he teached? Did they talk of how respectable he was Working with his farmer in wood Before being to it nailed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Biblical Epics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Biblical Epics","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/moral\/biblical-epics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"This was initially going to be a funny poem dwelling on gosspiers in Nazareth being like what we would find today in Ireland, and how all this Son of God stuff and the ensuing crucifixion would make them gossip and giggle. It developed a bit sombre however. Maybe the comedy verse will be written another day...","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Christ-taken-from-the-Cross-still-from-The-Passion-of-the-Christ-by-Mel-Gibson.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Christ-taken-from-the-Cross-still-from-The-Passion-of-the-Christ-by-Mel-Gibson.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Christ-taken-from-the-Cross-still-from-The-Passion-of-the-Christ-by-Mel-Gibson.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Christ-taken-from-the-Cross-still-from-The-Passion-of-the-Christ-by-Mel-Gibson.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Christ-taken-from-the-Cross-still-from-The-Passion-of-the-Christ-by-Mel-Gibson.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1967,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/dutch-courage\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":2},"title":"Dutch Courage","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"24th June 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"All possibilities will reveal Themselves in the morning, waking Some will smile and what they find in bed Others in horror will be shaking... If it wasn't for drink I think mankind Might for want of loving cease to be Now where is it, that bottle of vodka So I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1994,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/being-the-sacrificial-lamb-at-amusings-amazing-night-at-scene-of-the-rhyme-getting-our-breath-back-after-body-and-soul\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":3},"title":"Being the Sacrificial Lamb at Amusings, Amazing night at Scene of the Rhyme, Getting our Breath back after Body and Soul","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"29th June 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Next up is the Valentia Island festival - as we in the Tullamore Rhymers Club sort out our line up Im not sure will I be reading or just chilling out and enjoying the craic. Sunday I was at A-musings for the second time in Accents Caf\u00e9 in Dublin, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Audio&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Our Carty has the body of a God... its Buddha!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Thats-Carty.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1277,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/no-laughing-matter-serious-topics-broached-at-accents-cafe-comedy-night\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":4},"title":"No Laughing Matter &#8211; Serious Topics Broached at Accents Caf\u00e9 Comedy Night","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"4th December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I bought a house for \u20ac500,000. Its now worth \u20ac250,000 - after 19 years of woking, I now owe quarter of a million if I was to sell it tomorrow. I could have bought gold at its price back then, paid off my mortgage at 2004 prices, and have \u20ac2.2\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Austerity&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Austerity","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/austerity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Robert Coyle at Accents Cafe","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141129_200410.jpg?resize=1400%2C800 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1252,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/curtain-falls-on-the-final-scene-of-the-rhyme-in-joe-lees-in-tullamore\/","url_meta":{"origin":823,"position":5},"title":"Curtain falls on the Final Scene of the Rhyme in Joe Lees in Tullamore","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"28th November 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The curtain has fallen on Tullamore's Scene of the Rhyme events in Joe Lees, which from a few short months ago - nine to be exact I think, has become an event of nationwide recognition on the poetry events circuit, and has brought the work of the Tullamore Rhymers Club\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hear about the Dubliner, the Wicklow person and the Longford person? No, its not a bad joke, but an excellent band, and their first gig for Seachanges was at the last Scene of the Rhyme in Tullamore","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Seachanges-at-SOTR.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Seachanges-at-SOTR.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Seachanges-at-SOTR.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Seachanges-at-SOTR.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=823"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1764,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823\/revisions\/1764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}