{"id":541,"date":"2013-11-10T02:48:51","date_gmt":"2013-11-10T02:48:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=541"},"modified":"2014-09-10T02:50:51","modified_gmt":"2014-09-10T02:50:51","slug":"i-blame-it-all-on-tesco","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/i-blame-it-all-on-tesco\/","title":{"rendered":"I Blame It All On TESCO"},"content":{"rendered":"<address>(or how men lost their status in relationships)<\/address>\n<p>When dinosaurs walked tall on earth,<br \/>\nAnd Tesco was yet to be\u2026<br \/>\nWomen who wanted meat and shit<br \/>\nRelied on chaps like me\u2026<br \/>\nWe gathered up our clubs and spears,<br \/>\nAnd risked our very lives,<br \/>\nTo bring back meat and furry skins<br \/>\nSo as to get some loving from our wives\u2026<\/p>\n<p>But then, some bollix invented Tesco,<br \/>\nAnd the Dino\u2019s all died out,<br \/>\nAnd things got tough the the Land of Love<br \/>\nThere was too much competition about.<br \/>\nNow they want us \u201csensitive\u201d<br \/>\nYet not be a sissy at all,<br \/>\nWe have to love our mammy\u2019s,<br \/>\nYet if we do, mammy\u2019s boys us they call\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Its a hard life being a fella,<br \/>\nThings were so simple before,<br \/>\nAll you risked was your life, and not your pride\u2026<br \/>\nIts not like that anymore\u2026<br \/>\nWe risk more than our lives, our very EGO\u2026<br \/>\nWhich they love to dent and bruise\u2026<br \/>\nAnd I blame it all on Tesco\u2026<br \/>\nThe War of the Sexes us fellas did lose\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(or how men lost their status in relationships) When dinosaurs walked tall on earth, And Tesco was yet to be\u2026 Women who wanted meat and shit Relied on chaps like me\u2026 We gathered up our clubs and spears, And risked our very lives, To bring back meat and furry skins &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[796,797,795],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems","tag-battle-of-the-sexes","tag-funny-poems-2","tag-men-and-women","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-8J","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4892,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/turkeys-ghost-returns-to-ruin-christmas-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":0},"title":"Turkeys Ghost Returns to Ruin Christmas Dinner","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"24th December 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"All was set for the Christmas The tinsel glistened on the tree, The star wasn't even crooked As in other years all too often it would be... Grandpa was drunk since breakfast Attempts to sing but a mere hum His punches now were plentiful but rationed Containing more coffee than\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Christmas Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/A-Family-Christmas.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/A-Family-Christmas.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/A-Family-Christmas.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/A-Family-Christmas.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":1},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Christmas Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":2},"title":"Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"1st April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!! Good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":823,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/the-saving-of-mankind-some-vulgar-verse\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":3},"title":"The Saving of Mankind &#8211; Some Vulgar Verse","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"1st October 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=wtuR5_rQmz0 In days of old when men were bold And chased dinosaurs with sticks The girls fair and not so fair Went for the dudes with the longest dicks! And all the mediums got little And if your manhood was small Alas for you there was no fun You got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/wtuR5_rQmz0\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4252,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/daddy-daughter-and-a-dead-rabbit\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":4},"title":"Daddy, Daughter and a Dead Rabbit","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"6th January 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Daddy and daughter were driving For the day along the road When heading home they hit a bump: Was it a rat or toad? Daughter begged Daddy to stop, See was there anything they could do When they did his heart it sank When daughter saw it was a bunny\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Abortion&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Abortion","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/abortion\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"When is a Rabbit Not a Good Rabbit?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/When-is-a-Rabbit-Not-a-Good-Rabbit.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/When-is-a-Rabbit-Not-a-Good-Rabbit.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/When-is-a-Rabbit-Not-a-Good-Rabbit.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/When-is-a-Rabbit-Not-a-Good-Rabbit.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":511,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/an-endangered-species\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":5},"title":"An Endangered Species","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"6th September 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KisXpukA0RM Once upon a time a phonebox In the days when I was young Was the height of technology And from where taxis were rung Or worried mammys and daddies By youth out upon the town A little palace from the rain A place of universal renown... A place of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Cause for Pause&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Cause for Pause","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/video-poetry\/cause-for-pause\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/KisXpukA0RM\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":542,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions\/542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}