{"id":4892,"date":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","date_gmt":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=4892"},"modified":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","slug":"turkeys-ghost-returns-to-ruin-christmas-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/turkeys-ghost-returns-to-ruin-christmas-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Turkeys Ghost Returns to Ruin Christmas Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
A Christmas dinner in times past…<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

All was set for the Christmas
\nThe tinsel glistened on the tree,
\nThe star wasn’t even crooked
\nAs in other years all too often it would be…<\/p>\n

Grandpa was drunk since breakfast
\nAttempts to sing but a mere hum
\nHis punches now were plentiful but rationed
\nContaining more coffee than rum.<\/p>\n

The kids were tearing the presents,
\nThey toys on the floor – some broken already – were spleyed
\nFor all the money spent by mammy – and Santa!!!
\nThe box as a fort with was most played…<\/p>\n

Mammy was cooking in the kitchen,
\nGranny looked on with a frown…
\nThe turkey was on since the morning
\nYet it was barely warm never mind brown.<\/p>\n

Dinner was up in an hour
\nIn horror Mammy the truth there she saw…
\nThe temperature knob had been moved…
\nThe turkey meat was still raw!!!<\/p>\n

Mammy blamed granny who blamed mammy
\nGranddad woke up with the row,
\nThe children got blamed, scolded and shamed
\nDad just sat there wondering how…<\/p>\n

Every other Christmas was perfect,
\nAll looked good for the season but yet…
\nHe had a reason to be nervous,
\nHaving killed to cook the family pet.<\/p>\n

They had reared Dustin, as the kids called it, as a chicken
\nOr whatever a turkey from the egg is called…
\nWhen the oldest said she was turning vegetarian
\nAs to eat the family pet was appalled…<\/p>\n

He was more right then he knew about it,
\nAs the row into a crying fest blazed…
\nHe sat slumped drinking gin in the corner,
\nLike a boxer with a stomach punch gazed…<\/p>\n

The turkey ghost looked on with bitter satisfaction,
\nAs its corpse was not eaten but was in the bin thrown…
\nEveryone one got the blame for turning down the cooker knobs…
\nThat it was the dead turkeys ghost was never known!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All was set for the Christmas The tinsel glistened on the tree, The star wasn’t even crooked As in other years all too often it would be… Grandpa was drunk since breakfast Attempts to sing but a mere hum His punches now were plentiful but rationed Containing more coffee than …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[361,89],"tags":[358,4384,93],"class_list":["post-4892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-poetry","category-funny-poems","tag-christmas","tag-family-dinner","tag-funny-poem","column","twocol"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-1gU","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":0},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1130,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/thoughts-as-we-approach-christmas-blog\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":1},"title":"Thoughts as we approach Christmas – Blog","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"16th November 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As we approach Christmas, a few thoughts come to mind as well as a few suggestions for presents for the coming season! 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Santa will be breaking the lockdown in December Regardless if or not its Level 5 He will be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":903,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/christmas-eve-at-the-hospital\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":3},"title":"Christmas Eve at the Hospital","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"24th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Everybody was getting drowsy, drinking coffee to keep awake, Planning to get kebabs and chips, eating biscuits to beat the band, Idly scanning the CCTV when all of a sudden a shape was seen... 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