{"id":4892,"date":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","date_gmt":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=4892"},"modified":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T16:48:53","slug":"turkeys-ghost-returns-to-ruin-christmas-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/turkeys-ghost-returns-to-ruin-christmas-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Turkeys Ghost Returns to Ruin Christmas Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
A Christmas dinner in times past…<\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

All was set for the Christmas
\nThe tinsel glistened on the tree,
\nThe star wasn’t even crooked
\nAs in other years all too often it would be…<\/p>\n

Grandpa was drunk since breakfast
\nAttempts to sing but a mere hum
\nHis punches now were plentiful but rationed
\nContaining more coffee than rum.<\/p>\n

The kids were tearing the presents,
\nThey toys on the floor – some broken already – were spleyed
\nFor all the money spent by mammy – and Santa!!!
\nThe box as a fort with was most played…<\/p>\n

Mammy was cooking in the kitchen,
\nGranny looked on with a frown…
\nThe turkey was on since the morning
\nYet it was barely warm never mind brown.<\/p>\n

Dinner was up in an hour
\nIn horror Mammy the truth there she saw…
\nThe temperature knob had been moved…
\nThe turkey meat was still raw!!!<\/p>\n

Mammy blamed granny who blamed mammy
\nGranddad woke up with the row,
\nThe children got blamed, scolded and shamed
\nDad just sat there wondering how…<\/p>\n

Every other Christmas was perfect,
\nAll looked good for the season but yet…
\nHe had a reason to be nervous,
\nHaving killed to cook the family pet.<\/p>\n

They had reared Dustin, as the kids called it, as a chicken
\nOr whatever a turkey from the egg is called…
\nWhen the oldest said she was turning vegetarian
\nAs to eat the family pet was appalled…<\/p>\n

He was more right then he knew about it,
\nAs the row into a crying fest blazed…
\nHe sat slumped drinking gin in the corner,
\nLike a boxer with a stomach punch gazed…<\/p>\n

The turkey ghost looked on with bitter satisfaction,
\nAs its corpse was not eaten but was in the bin thrown…
\nEveryone one got the blame for turning down the cooker knobs…
\nThat it was the dead turkeys ghost was never known!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All was set for the Christmas The tinsel glistened on the tree, The star wasn’t even crooked As in other years all too often it would be… Grandpa was drunk since breakfast Attempts to sing but a mere hum His punches now were plentiful but rationed Containing more coffee than …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[361,89],"tags":[358,4384,93],"class_list":["post-4892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-poetry","category-funny-poems","tag-christmas","tag-family-dinner","tag-funny-poem","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-1gU","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":0},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":541,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/i-blame-it-all-on-tesco\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":1},"title":"I Blame It All On TESCO","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"10th November 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"(or how men lost their status in relationships)When dinosaurs walked tall on earth, And Tesco was yet to be\u2026 Women who wanted meat and shit Relied on chaps like me\u2026 We gathered up our clubs and spears, And risked our very lives, To bring back meat and furry skins So\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":2},"title":"Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"1st April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!! Good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems (18+!!!)"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1130,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/thoughts-as-we-approach-christmas-blog\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":3},"title":"Thoughts as we approach Christmas – Blog","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"16th November 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As we approach Christmas, a few thoughts come to mind as well as a few suggestions for presents for the coming season! What is Christmas about? For giving thanks for the year gone, and telling those dear to us what they mean to us. And, after the dinner, when the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1318,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santys-christmas-party\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":4},"title":"Santy’s Christmas Party","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"5th December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves Wrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves Someone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine: It was the North Poles Christmas Party - all were set for a good time! Mrs Clause got merry, Santa\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems (18+!!!)"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santy's Christmas Party","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Santys-Christmas-Party-300x245.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":903,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/christmas-eve-at-the-hospital\/","url_meta":{"origin":4892,"position":5},"title":"Christmas Eve at the Hospital","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"24th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Everybody was getting drowsy, drinking coffee to keep awake, Planning to get kebabs and chips, eating biscuits to beat the band, Idly scanning the CCTV when all of a sudden a shape was seen... It looked like reindeer and a sleigh, with a waving hand... There was no Garda helicopter,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Folklore and Legend"","block_context":{"text":"Folklore and Legend","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/folklore-and-legend\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa seen in Tullamore","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4892","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4892"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4895,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4892\/revisions\/4895"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}