{"id":3624,"date":"2017-04-01T04:02:31","date_gmt":"2017-04-01T03:02:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=3624"},"modified":"2017-04-01T04:04:18","modified_gmt":"2017-04-01T03:04:18","slug":"willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Artist<\/a>
Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus<\/a> <\/b><\/u>, who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine<\/a><\/u> our hero got mixed up with!!!<\/p>\n

Good to see Willie back to himself. We were worried when he started to go straight and be boring while working as Santa!!!<\/a><\/u><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We had heard that some budget scrimping shopping store
\nMuch to our shock and applause
\nTook the brave decision, bravery of fools
\nHired the bould Willie as Santa Claus<\/p>\n

Some said that he was going straight
\nBut just as we feared
\nAll was not well, the story we tell
\nHow and why the bould Willie disappeared!<\/p>\n

He turned up to work all right
\nAs expected he was late
\nA Celtic shirt neath his Santa suit
\nIn a rather drunken state…<\/p>\n

Drinking all the while while doing Santa
\nHe told some poor unfortunate child
\nTheyd get no toys if their mammies did not bring him whiskey:
\nThe kid did… then things got really wild!<\/p>\n

Santa – as Willie was – got rowdy
\nWhile smoking in the store
\nThe security guard had to throw him out
\n– As many a bouncer had to do before! –<\/p>\n

He got a brick and threw it at the window
\nBeing of useless aim, he missed
\nThen decided to ruin Chrismas for all the kids
\nSaying : “I am Santa… I don’t exist!”<\/p>\n

Willie being Willie and Willie being drunk
\nDecided on a whim
\nThere being a river there nearby
\nHe would go for a swim.<\/p>\n

He had no swim suit on him
\nSo he ran across the car park half in the nip
\nJumped right in before he got arrested
\nSobering up with the skinny dip…<\/p>\n

He pleaded with the judge and begged for treatment
\nSo mercy to him was shown
\nThe folly of that to you and I
\nAnd all bar the judge is known!<\/p>\n

I heard from inside where he does reside
\nAt night he howls and sings to the moon…
\nThe craic well have when Willie is back…
\nWith good behavior hes due out sometime soon!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!! Good …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[376,2716],"tags":[380,358,1277,318],"class_list":["post-3624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems-18","category-life-and-times-of-willie-rimes","tag-bad-santa","tag-christmas","tag-santa","tag-willie-rimes","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-Ws","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3295,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":0},"title":"Willie Rimes Applies to Be Santa Claus","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"29th November 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim! He got a phonecall for an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Some claim this is authentic footage of Willie Rimes dressed as Santa... I am not so sure!!!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Willie-Rimes-As-Santa.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4446,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-goes-to-confession\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":1},"title":"Willie Rimes Goes to Confession","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"2nd February 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 A legend in his own lifetime Afraid he'd go to hell The bold Willie went in to the church All his sins to the priest to tell The priest thought he had heard it all That he did by then you'd think: Its said after hearing Willies confession The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes went to confession - that wasnt going to end well...","src":"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg 1x, https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3672,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-was-off-the-drink-for-lent\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":2},"title":"Willie Rimes Was Off the Drink For Lent","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"16th April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Willie Rimes gave up the drink Not forever as one would think But before in disbelief you blink It was only for Lent Sure he broke out St Patricks Day But sure every Irishman does Lent that way Sure whats one day as he himself did say As to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes wakes up beside the Easter Bunny","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4413,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-builds-a-boat\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":3},"title":"Willie Rimes Builds a Boat","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"28th October 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"We havnt heard from Willie Rimes in a while... as expected, he has been up to no good... in a self built boat! What POSSIBLY could go wrong?","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems (18+!!!)"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3042,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-gone-on-the-run-at-the-galway-races\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":4},"title":"Willie Rimes Gone on the Run at the Galway Races","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"25th July 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Willie Rimes is back in town In Galway of all places The guards are still looking out for him Hes up at the bloody races He got in with some Americans Who liked his Galway drawl Though our Willie is a kind of droll And not from Galway at all!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes is on the run after giving dodgy tips that actually won at the Galway Races","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1976,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/poetic-crimes-of-willie-rimes\/","url_meta":{"origin":3624,"position":5},"title":"Poetic Crimes of Willie Rimes","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"9th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"He said he was talking to Mally, About the new book put out by Lally, Unlike Carty it didnt take him ages, To put together a few pages... A man who acts, and wont dilly dally! He said he was having a smoke, I swear this is not a joke...\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes makes a joi... fag out of the pages of Cormac Lallys new book","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3624"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3628,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3624\/revisions\/3628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}