{"id":3295,"date":"2016-11-29T02:26:39","date_gmt":"2016-11-29T02:26:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=3295"},"modified":"2016-11-29T02:26:39","modified_gmt":"2016-11-29T02:26:39","slug":"willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/","title":{"rendered":"Willie Rimes Applies to Be Santa Claus"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys<br \/>\nComes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys<br \/>\nBut he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him<br \/>\nWillie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim!<\/p>\n<p>He got a phonecall for an interview from the local Dunnes Stores<br \/>\nThe phone was nearly not heard with the noise of his snores<br \/>\nBut the bar man woke him with a hefty shake<br \/>\nSaying &#8220;Theres a call on your phone ya eejit that you must take&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Willie, barely awake panicked, thought it was the police again<br \/>\n&#8211; Hes on the run over a few incidents, as are many men!!! &#8211;<br \/>\nEventually he pulled himself together, blamed the reception<br \/>\nFor the garbled speech, getting himself out of jail again in perfection!<\/p>\n<p>He was last seen staggering drunkenly towards Dunnes up the street<br \/>\nSmiling and singing at everyone he did meet<br \/>\nNo one has seen him since, not even Simey the Slob<br \/>\nI heard a horrific roumer &#8211; he got hired &#8211; he got the job!!!<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Glossary:<\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Dunnes Stores<\/em> &#8211; an Irish supermarket chain, like ASDA, or WALMART<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3296\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3296\" style=\"width: 399px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/willie-rimes-as-santa\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3296\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Willie-Rimes-As-Santa.gif\" alt=\"Some claim this is authentic footage of Willie Rimes dressed as Santa... I am not so sure!!!\" width=\"399\" height=\"275\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3296\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3296\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Some claim this is authentic footage of Willie Rimes dressed as Santa&#8230; I am not so sure!!!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim! He got a phonecall for an &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[89,2716],"tags":[380,3311,383,3310,318],"class_list":["post-3295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems","category-life-and-times-of-willie-rimes","tag-bad-santa","tag-dunnes-stores","tag-santy","tag-snata","tag-willie-rimes","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-R9","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":0},"title":"Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"1st April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!! Good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4446,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-goes-to-confession\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":1},"title":"Willie Rimes Goes to Confession","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"2nd February 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 A legend in his own lifetime Afraid he'd go to hell The bold Willie went in to the church All his sins to the priest to tell The priest thought he had heard it all That he did by then you'd think: Its said after hearing Willies confession The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes went to confession - that wasnt going to end well...","src":"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg 1x, https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/a\/ab\/St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg\/647px-St.leonhard-ffm-beichtstuhl001.jpg 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3672,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-was-off-the-drink-for-lent\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":2},"title":"Willie Rimes Was Off the Drink For Lent","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"16th April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Willie Rimes gave up the drink Not forever as one would think But before in disbelief you blink It was only for Lent Sure he broke out St Patricks Day But sure every Irishman does Lent that way Sure whats one day as he himself did say As to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes wakes up beside the Easter Bunny","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Willie-Rimes-wakes-up-beside-the-Easter-Bunny.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4413,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-builds-a-boat\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":3},"title":"Willie Rimes Builds a Boat","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"28th October 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"We havnt heard from Willie Rimes in a while... as expected, he has been up to no good... in a self built boat! What POSSIBLY could go wrong?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Lough-Derg.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3042,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-gone-on-the-run-at-the-galway-races\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":4},"title":"Willie Rimes Gone on the Run at the Galway Races","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"25th July 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Willie Rimes is back in town In Galway of all places The guards are still looking out for him Hes up at the bloody races He got in with some Americans Who liked his Galway drawl Though our Willie is a kind of droll And not from Galway at all!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes is on the run after giving dodgy tips that actually won at the Galway Races","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/Willie-Rimes-is-on-the-run-after-giving-dodgy-tips-that-actually-won-at-the-Galway-Races.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1976,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/poetic-crimes-of-willie-rimes\/","url_meta":{"origin":3295,"position":5},"title":"Poetic Crimes of Willie Rimes","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"9th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"He said he was talking to Mally, About the new book put out by Lally, Unlike Carty it didnt take him ages, To put together a few pages... A man who acts, and wont dilly dally! He said he was having a smoke, I swear this is not a joke...\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Willie Rimes makes a joi... fag out of the pages of Cormac Lallys new book","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Willie-Rimes-makes-a-joi...-fag-out-of-the-pages-of-Cormac-Lallys-new-book.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3295"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3298,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295\/revisions\/3298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}