{"id":238,"date":"2013-12-03T22:52:16","date_gmt":"2013-12-03T22:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=238"},"modified":"2017-12-29T02:27:21","modified_gmt":"2017-12-29T02:27:21","slug":"santa-xxx","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","title":{"rendered":"Santa XXX"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/santa-and-his-women\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-4245\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4245 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"730\" height=\"539\" \/><\/a>Santy is an unknown casanova&#8230;<br \/>\nAn intercontinental romantic supernova,<br \/>\nHe gets to play away<br \/>\nOnce a year for a day&#8230;<br \/>\nBehind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!!<\/p>\n<p>He sneaks into womens homes a night,<br \/>\nSilent so as not to cause fright,<br \/>\nBy the way to girls and boys,<br \/>\nWho have been good, giving them toys&#8230;<br \/>\nBut thats not all that he does&#8230;and its not right!<\/p>\n<p>Of his achievements worldwide hes never bragged<br \/>\nAbout the tens of thousands of women he has shagged&#8230;<br \/>\nOr the ugly ones whos advances<br \/>\nHe dismissed, the failed romances&#8230;<br \/>\nAnd drunk driving his sleigh has never being bagged!<\/p>\n<p>We think him upworthy fat red and jolly wearing specs&#8230;<br \/>\nTo good little girls and boys giving toys cuddles and pecks,<br \/>\nWhile winking at their mammys,<br \/>\nTo say hell call by later and remove their jammies,<br \/>\nSigning his Christmas cards as Santa&#8230; XXX!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Santy is an unknown casanova&#8230; An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day&#8230; Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[361,89,376],"tags":[378,380,384,377,381,385,379,382,383],"class_list":["post-238","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-poetry","category-funny-poems","category-funny-poems-18","tag-adult-christmas-poem","tag-bad-santa","tag-bad-santy","tag-funny-christmas-poem","tag-naughty-santa","tag-naughty-santy","tag-putting-the-xxx-in-xmas","tag-santa-casanova","tag-santy","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-3Q","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1318,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santys-christmas-party\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":0},"title":"Santy&#8217;s Christmas Party","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"5th December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves Wrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves Someone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine: It was the North Poles Christmas Party - all were set for a good time! Mrs Clause got merry, Santa\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santy's Christmas Party","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Santys-Christmas-Party-300x245.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4219,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/even-bold-children-have-their-uses\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":1},"title":"Even Bold Children Have Their Uses","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"23rd December 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"There was once a little boy Who his mother would always scold Though he was her pride and joy He was always very bold. Santa came every year But he never brought him toys He gave him a lump of coal Thats given to all bold girls and boys! In\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Christmas Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Coal in Stocking for the Bad Kids","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Coal-in-Stocking-for-the-Bad-Kids.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3295,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":2},"title":"Willie Rimes Applies to Be Santa Claus","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"29th November 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim! He got a phonecall for an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Some claim this is authentic footage of Willie Rimes dressed as Santa... I am not so sure!!!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Willie-Rimes-As-Santa.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4230,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santas-sleigh-got-taken-down-by-a-windmill\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":3},"title":"Santa&#8217;s Sleigh Got Taken Down By A Windmill","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"23rd December 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa's sleigh got taken down by a windmill Flying out near Daingean Christmas Eve He was drunk after drinking all the brandy The reindeer were on elf navigation I do believe. Santa does Ireland last as we are his favourite So touring around he takes his time To avoid the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Christmas Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa Crashing At Daingean","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Santa-Crashing-At-Daingean.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":351,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/letter-to-santa\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":4},"title":"Letter to Santa","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"7th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Santa, I am a taxpayer, Im been good throughout the year, Ive paid up all my taxes, and did not cry a tear, I attended no protest marches, did not riot in any Dublin street I cannot understand Enda Kenny's spite and conceit. He holds the strings to my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Austerity&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Austerity","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/austerity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"An exasperated Irish taxpayer writes a letter to Santy, as it will bring more change than writing to Enda Kenny asking for fair play for the Irish taxpayer and mortgage holder!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1015,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/bad-santa\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":5},"title":"Bad Santa","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"30th November 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Santas in the bathroom smoking dope I think for him theres not a hope Hes in there with me aunties And hes trying on their panties He has got them tied up with a rope!!! I always knew him to be a messer But never though of him as a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Funny Poems (18+!!!)&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Bad Santa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Bad-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Bad-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Bad-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=238"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4246,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions\/4246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}