{"id":1318,"date":"2014-12-05T17:56:10","date_gmt":"2014-12-05T17:56:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=1318"},"modified":"2014-12-05T17:56:50","modified_gmt":"2014-12-05T17:56:50","slug":"santys-christmas-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santys-christmas-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Santy’s Christmas Party"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Santy's<\/a>
Santy’s Christmas Party<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves
\nWrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves
\nSomeone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine:
\nIt was the North Poles Christmas Party – all were set for a good time!<\/p>\n

Mrs Clause got merry, Santa very drunk
\nRudolf let slip the fact that Santa was not like a monkMrs Clause got rowdy, Dancer ran for his life:
\nYou never want to be near a row between Santa and his wife!<\/p>\n

Rudolf held a grudge you see, of him Santa was afraid
\nFor he jibed the red nosed reindeer for never being laid:
\nThe other reindeer laughed at him, revenge of Santa was sworn
\nFor alleging that a doe was never of her dignity by Rudolf shorn!<\/p>\n

The reindeer let slip all the little secrets of Santa’s yearly tour
\nHis girls in every village, his visits to the Amsterdam whore
\nAnd in Thailand he spent a long time and forgot to drop off the toys
\nPartying the night away in Bangkok with a gang of lady boys!<\/p>\n

Mrs Clause went ballistic, she went nuclear, and then up a notch
\nShe kicked poor Santa mighty hard, with pointy shoes in the crotch:
\nNow Christmas is in crisis, and the Elves have been heard to fear
\nWith the Hangover from the Christmas party, there may be no deliveries this year!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves Wrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves Someone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine: It was the North Poles Christmas Party – all were set for a good time! Mrs Clause got merry, Santa …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[376],"tags":[380,386,381,379,357],"class_list":["post-1318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems-18","tag-bad-santa","tag-christmas-poem","tag-naughty-santa","tag-putting-the-xxx-in-xmas","tag-xmas","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-lg","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":0},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4230,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santas-sleigh-got-taken-down-by-a-windmill\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":1},"title":"Santa’s Sleigh Got Taken Down By A Windmill","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"23rd December 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa's sleigh got taken down by a windmill Flying out near Daingean Christmas Eve He was drunk after drinking all the brandy The reindeer were on elf navigation I do believe. Santa does Ireland last as we are his favourite So touring around he takes his time To avoid the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa Crashing At Daingean","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Santa-Crashing-At-Daingean.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4343,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-gets-a-letter-from-iraq\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":2},"title":"Santa Gets a Letter from Iraq","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"10th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Santa got a letter, a letter that broke his heart, Asked him for peace, to end a war that Santa did not start, All the child wanted was for the fighting to cease, That she could live without fear, and her land could know peace. Santy, you are powerful,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa Reading a Letter","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Santa-Reading-a-Letter.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Santa-Reading-a-Letter.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Santa-Reading-a-Letter.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Santa-Reading-a-Letter.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":351,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/letter-to-santa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":3},"title":"Letter to Santa","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"7th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Santa, I am a taxpayer, Im been good throughout the year, Ive paid up all my taxes, and did not cry a tear, I attended no protest marches, did not riot in any Dublin street I cannot understand Enda Kenny's spite and conceit. He holds the strings to my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Austerity"","block_context":{"text":"Austerity","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/austerity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"An exasperated Irish taxpayer writes a letter to Santy, as it will bring more change than writing to Enda Kenny asking for fair play for the Irish taxpayer and mortgage holder!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":903,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/christmas-eve-at-the-hospital\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":4},"title":"Christmas Eve at the Hospital","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"24th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Everybody was getting drowsy, drinking coffee to keep awake, Planning to get kebabs and chips, eating biscuits to beat the band, Idly scanning the CCTV when all of a sudden a shape was seen... It looked like reindeer and a sleigh, with a waving hand... There was no Garda helicopter,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Folklore and Legend"","block_context":{"text":"Folklore and Legend","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/folklore-and-legend\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa seen in Tullamore","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-in-Tullamore.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4581,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/christmas-reflection-2019\/","url_meta":{"origin":1318,"position":5},"title":"Christmas Reflection 2019","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"6th December 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"What does He who died for us In his heart Sacred feel As we tell our kids that there is no God But Santa Claus is real?","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Rubens Adoration of the Magi (1609-1629) Photo: Wikimedia Commons","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Adoration-of-the-Magi-by-Reubens-from-Wikipedia.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Adoration-of-the-Magi-by-Reubens-from-Wikipedia.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Adoration-of-the-Magi-by-Reubens-from-Wikipedia.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Adoration-of-the-Magi-by-Reubens-from-Wikipedia.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1318"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1321,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1318\/revisions\/1321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}