{"id":1015,"date":"2012-11-30T01:28:07","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T01:28:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=1015"},"modified":"2014-10-31T01:29:24","modified_gmt":"2014-10-31T01:29:24","slug":"bad-santa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/bad-santa\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Santa"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Bad
Santa thinks its nice this girls being naughty!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Santas in the bathroom smoking dope
\nI think for him theres not a hope
\nHes in there with me aunties
\nAnd hes trying on their panties
\nHe has got them tied up with a rope!!!<\/p>\n

I always knew him to be a messer
\nBut never though of him as a cross dresser
\nBut as the fellah says
\nSuchlike is all OK these days
\nWe cannot against such folk be an oppressor!!!<\/p>\n

He drank all of the vodka and the wine
\nAnd Id swear I caught him snorting up a line
\nChristmas is the season
\nAnd its seems all he needs is a reason
\nHe’s giving me a thumbs up to say he’s fine!<\/p>\n

Oh, its my aunties I feel sorry for the most
\nThey both look like they’ve seen a ghost
\nFor being naughty hes going to spank ’em
\nThen shag and expect them to thank him
\nAnd of his exploits down every chimney hes going to boast.<\/p>\n

So tell your auntie’s to be good throughout the year
\nNo gambling, sleeping around or being on the beer
\nFor Santa wont give them coal
\nBut he’ll tarnish further their soul
\nHe’s far naughtier a man than he may appear!!!<\/p>\n

Photo from Scarletts Roadhouse (18+ Page)<\/a><\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Santas in the bathroom smoking dope I think for him theres not a hope Hes in there with me aunties And hes trying on their panties He has got them tied up with a rope!!! I always knew him to be a messer But never though of him as a …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[376],"tags":[380,377,357],"class_list":["post-1015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems-18","tag-bad-santa","tag-funny-christmas-poem","tag-xmas","column","twocol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-gn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":0},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1318,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santys-christmas-party\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":1},"title":"Santy’s Christmas Party","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"5th December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves Wrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves Someone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine: It was the North Poles Christmas Party - all were set for a good time! 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Santa does Ireland last as we are his favourite So touring around he takes his time To avoid the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santa Crashing At Daingean","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Santa-Crashing-At-Daingean.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4219,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/even-bold-children-have-their-uses\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":3},"title":"Even Bold Children Have Their Uses","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"23rd December 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"There was once a little boy Who his mother would always scold Though he was her pride and joy He was always very bold. Santa came every year But he never brought him toys He gave him a lump of coal Thats given to all bold girls and boys! In\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Coal in Stocking for the Bad Kids","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Coal-in-Stocking-for-the-Bad-Kids.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3295,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":4},"title":"Willie Rimes Applies to Be Santa Claus","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"29th November 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim! 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