{"id":1015,"date":"2012-11-30T01:28:07","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T01:28:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/?p=1015"},"modified":"2014-10-31T01:29:24","modified_gmt":"2014-10-31T01:29:24","slug":"bad-santa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/bad-santa\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Santa"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Bad
Santa thinks its nice this girls being naughty!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Santas in the bathroom smoking dope
\nI think for him theres not a hope
\nHes in there with me aunties
\nAnd hes trying on their panties
\nHe has got them tied up with a rope!!!<\/p>\n

I always knew him to be a messer
\nBut never though of him as a cross dresser
\nBut as the fellah says
\nSuchlike is all OK these days
\nWe cannot against such folk be an oppressor!!!<\/p>\n

He drank all of the vodka and the wine
\nAnd Id swear I caught him snorting up a line
\nChristmas is the season
\nAnd its seems all he needs is a reason
\nHe’s giving me a thumbs up to say he’s fine!<\/p>\n

Oh, its my aunties I feel sorry for the most
\nThey both look like they’ve seen a ghost
\nFor being naughty hes going to spank ’em
\nThen shag and expect them to thank him
\nAnd of his exploits down every chimney hes going to boast.<\/p>\n

So tell your auntie’s to be good throughout the year
\nNo gambling, sleeping around or being on the beer
\nFor Santa wont give them coal
\nBut he’ll tarnish further their soul
\nHe’s far naughtier a man than he may appear!!!<\/p>\n

Photo from Scarletts Roadhouse (18+ Page)<\/a><\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Santas in the bathroom smoking dope I think for him theres not a hope Hes in there with me aunties And hes trying on their panties He has got them tied up with a rope!!! I always knew him to be a messer But never though of him as a …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[376],"tags":[380,377,357],"class_list":["post-1015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-poems-18","tag-bad-santa","tag-funny-christmas-poem","tag-xmas","column","twocol"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7EI4f-gn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":238,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santa-xxx\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":0},"title":"Santa XXX","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"3rd December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Santy is an unknown casanova... An intercontinental romantic supernova, He gets to play away Once a year for a day... Behind the back of unsuspecting Mrs Clausova!!! He sneaks into womens homes a night, Silent so as not to cause fright, By the way to girls and boys, Who have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Santa-and-his-Women.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3295,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-applies-to-be-santa-claus\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":1},"title":"Willie Rimes Applies to Be Santa Claus","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"29th November 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim! He got a phonecall for an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Some claim this is authentic footage of Willie Rimes dressed as Santa... I am not so sure!!!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Willie-Rimes-As-Santa.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1318,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/santys-christmas-party\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":2},"title":"Santy’s Christmas Party","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"5th December 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"They had finished all the presents, cleared off all the shelves Wrapped up all the chocolates, Santa and the Elves Someone brought out the bubbly, Mrs Claus opened the wine: It was the North Poles Christmas Party - all were set for a good time! Mrs Clause got merry, Santa\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems (18+!!!)"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Santy's Christmas Party","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Santys-Christmas-Party-300x245.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4807,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/christmas-under-covid-lockdown-in-ireland\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":3},"title":"Christmas Under COVID Lockdown in Ireland","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"6th November 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"We are hoping Ireland is not at Level 5 for Christmas, and that churches will be open for the Christmas. The verse has a novel suggestion for the cure for #COVID too! Santa will be breaking the lockdown in December Regardless if or not its Level 5 He will be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas Poetry","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/christmas-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/writingsinrhyme.celtichosting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Santa-at-a-Checkpoint-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/willie-rimes-wrecks-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":4},"title":"Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"1st April 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!! Good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Funny Poems (18+!!!)"","block_context":{"text":"Funny Poems (18+!!!)","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/funny-poems-18\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Artist-impression-of-Willie-Rimes-when-he-was-arrested-for-skinny-dipping-while-drunk-doing-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":351,"url":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/letter-to-santa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1015,"position":5},"title":"Letter to Santa","author":"Tom\u00e1s \u00d3 C\u00e1rthaigh","date":"7th December 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Santa, I am a taxpayer, Im been good throughout the year, Ive paid up all my taxes, and did not cry a tear, I attended no protest marches, did not riot in any Dublin street I cannot understand Enda Kenny's spite and conceit. He holds the strings to my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Austerity"","block_context":{"text":"Austerity","link":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/category\/austerity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"An exasperated Irish taxpayer writes a letter to Santy, as it will bring more change than writing to Enda Kenny asking for fair play for the Irish taxpayer and mortgage holder!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.writingsinrhyme.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Letter-to-Santa.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1015"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1015\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1016,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1015\/revisions\/1016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingsinrhyme.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}